1. |
Walk
01:35
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WELL IN MY DREAMS – I WAS AMAZED – I SHOT DOWN EVERY FACE THAT I HAD SEEN IN DAYS, AND THOUGH MY HEART WAS NEVER HEAVY, I COULD FEEL THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING WRONG WITH ME. AT EVERY PLACE, THEY LOCKED THE DOORS. I HAD TO AIM AT LEGS WHILE LAYING ON THE FLOOR AND THOUGH THERE WERE PEOPLE AROUND ME BEGGING, I COULD NOT TURN MY EYES AWAY. THEY SAID ‘OH MY GOD – WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?’ – I NEVER THOUGHT THAT THINGS COULD BE THIS CLEAR! OH, IN HER HEART, THERE IS A HOLE AND WHEN I SHOOT THAT’S WHERE THE BULLETS SEEM TO GO – AND THERE ARE PEOPLE AROUND ME PRAYING AS THE SIRENS BEGIN TO CALL. NOW WHEN I WALK THERE IS A PAIN. I HIT THE SIDEWALK AS I HEAR THEM CALL MY NAME, AND THOUGH I’M COUGHING UP MY INSIDES I KEEP TRYING TO EXPLAIN…BUT THERE’S A POOL AROUND MY ANKLES AND A BULLET LAYING IN MY BRAIN. AND I SAY ‘OH MY GOD! WHAT AM I DOING HERE?’ – WELL, I NEVER THOUGHT THAT THINGS COULD BE THIS CLEAR
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2. |
Monochrome
01:36
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Well, it’s the same every day no nothing happens. We wait and we pray – there’s no advantage to avoid dismay, it’s only currency here. And it’s the same every year – the world is frozen, so why are you here? You know you’re broken. So get down and kneel, get down and kneel with me! All gods burn and return to the earth, so why not stay and burn? Because it’s the same every week. It’s only motion, to swim or to sink. There’s only ocean. So why not slow down and drink it up with me? Because it’s the same anyway, there’s no disguising the dullness of days. There is no progress – we eat and decay and we are passed away. Oh, all gods burn and return to the earth, so why not stay and burn with me?
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3. |
Fifteen
01:16
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Fifteen lines I wrote you then. In my mind, you were a healer. In my mind, you were a hero and a friend. Fifteen times into my head. In my mind, you were a savior. In my mind, you were an angel and my light.
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4. |
Country
03:01
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It’s easy to keep dreaming when you’ll never see the dawn. Burdens, grown heavy, someone new will carry on. Oh, I know they will not miss me, after all that I’ve done wrong – but I’m afraid. I’m afraid of what’s to come. Who will come to meet me when my time is done? And I’m ashamed of what I’ve become – there’s no easy way when you’re the lonely one. Well, I gave up my possessions to the friends who have the space. I gave up my convictions to an uninspiring faith. I gave up every secret that’s been keeping me awake – but I’m afraid. Oh, I’m afraid of what’s to come. Who will come to meet me when my time is done? And I’m ashamed of what I’ve become – there’s no easy way when you’re the lonely one. There’s no easy way when you’re the selfish one. There’s no easy way when you’re the awful one. There’s no easy way when you’re the joyless one. There’s no easy way when you’re the guilty one.
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5. |
Finish Line
04:35
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Well, after fifteen years of hiding, I can finally concede that there is nothing good in life for me to see. And every morning’s waking is a morning gone to waste – oh, it is only time that moves me through the day. So what keeps a body going? It’s more a habit than a faith, and there is always someone standing in my way, but the wheels are getting rusty – and each second comes out old – and I am finally to the point of letting go. All old, all young – it takes every soul. My mouth was hanging open. My lips were turning blue – I had accomplished what I’d waited years to do. And the blood pooled out around me like a ripple or a dream – Oh, how could all of this have come from me? And a figure in the corner moves down upon my frame, stepping lightly to avoid my spattered brain. As he took my letter from me, I rasped out for his name as he knelt down to what used to be my face. All old, all young, it takes every soul. When we put her body under, well, I finally felt relief – Oh, it was good to get that corpse under my feet! After fifteen years of trying, there’s just so much you can take when everything she says keeps pushing you away. But the note I found that evening, well, I read it every day. ‘It was God himself who made me feel this way, so if he can take his pleasure from prolonging my pain, I will win the day by taking it away!’ All old, all young, it takes every soul.
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6. |
Goodbye
01:07
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Well, my name was right, though my mouth was dry. It was clear it was here – it’s finally time to say goodbye. Well, my mouth was dry as I passed you by. Though in fear, I am here – it’s finally time to say goodnight! Oh, but don’t be afraid to live after I die! Oh, and don’t be ashamed that you are still alive! And do not hide back from fate – we are born to pass away – oh, don’t be afraid to say goodbye!
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7. |
Wrapped Up Together
02:13
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So this is all there is? Each year turns into ten. And all of your childhood friends are gone and you don’t know how you even stand to live. Well, I’m the one you counted on. I’m the one who did you wrong. I am the hooker and the john wrapped all together. So this is all that’s left? Well, there’s not much to forget! And every July I know that there are a thousand failures waiting to be met. Oh, I wasn’t born to hate. No, I just turned out that way – I am the victim and the rape wrapped up together – and there’s no way out, though I’ve often tried. There’s no piece of mind. There’s no lighter side. I am the poet and the lie wrapped up together. Ho ho!
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8. |
Red and White
02:08
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Now everything you thought you wanted – now you see it’s all for nothing! You and me and we are all alone! And everyone you thought you wanted – now you see it’s all for nothing! You and me and we are all alone! So now the tub is full – the ice is cool – the razor walks the streaks you pull (and you’ll never have to go to school!) – the red and white, it circles down the drain and if I were a little more…I’d do the same. Now everyone you thought you trusted has gone and done the things they said they wouldn’t do to you – and we are all alone! And the only god you’d ever pray to rolls his eyes when he can hear you, and me, and we are all alone! So now the tub is full – the ice is cool – you know they will remember you! – the red and white, it circles down the drain and if I were a little more…I’d do the same!
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9. |
Bad Dream
02:01
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There’s blood on the floor but there’s no victim. A noose is circling the room. And your family is glaring out before you as you are acting out your doom. This is a bad dream – and the last you’ll be waking from. The theater gets hot as the lights swing in. Your hands are twitching at your sides. A figure pokes and prods and fingers you, but you’ve got something on your mind. Oh, this is a bad dream – and the last you’ll be waking from. Grab the note and sign your name. Take your spot up on the stage. Aim the gun into your brain and make the change.
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10. |
Lucas
02:04
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Well, I stood there for weeks with my hands holding tight to the cord - and it hung around my neck like the smell of a gathering storm (the lines across my throat were getting sore!) - and then a voice in my head screams ‘We thought you hated it here!?’ so I kick at the rolling chair and my feet kick and spin like I’m walking over the air – oh, I feel like I’m flying! Well, my face had gone black as the landlady opened the door – (and by the look on her face, I could tell she’d been hoping for more!) The spectator’s feet were crowding up my floor and one figure called out ‘Who’s got a camera here?!’ I am hanging with my eyes shut, and I feel my hate lifted up by the silence of God – oh, my God, don’t they know I am dying?
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11. |
Sweet
03:00
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Sweet, please understand, we are the eye of God that swings the axe onto our hands. We tell the lie that takes the lead – oh, we are stumbling blind for ideals we cannot achieve. And though we move to make the day, the pressures forge an island and there’s no escape – there’s only foam thrown in your face as we’re laid low by fate and waves. But love, don’t waste despair – your every petty pain will bend beneath the final error. And the hate that fills your bones, when saved, will have the strength to break your earthly hold. Oh the lights, they swirl ahead and as the earth gives way, the final motive, still unsaid, spits after me and I will soak it in.
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